


Shattered

by Esatea



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort Fluff, M/M, and hide has artistic abilities, in which kaneki compares their relationship to a shattered glass, sounds dramatic but isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esatea/pseuds/Esatea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had thought it was shattered, just like the glass at his feet. He had thought that it was impossible to recover, but Hide, he wasn't one to give up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>"Sometimes things don't have to stay the same. Things can change and develop into something even better than they used to be!"<i></i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> umm. i thought of a broken glass and well. this is in a hypothetical situation in which somehow theyre living together after kaneki has already been through all the shit. Like they actually went home, but kaneki is still sad and well. this is kinda confusing maybe

_He had believed that it was all shattered, just like the glass at his feet. He had thought that it was broken, lost forever, they could never go back to the way they were._

_-_

Kaneki stared at the shards on the floor, the fragments of what had formerly been a glass. He wasn't usually as clumsy as to make such a mistake, but accidents weren't an uncommon occurence if you were human. _Even if you weren't human._

It had simply slipped through his fingers, and fallen. There was no dramatic slow-motion effects, only the fragment of a second of fear, emptiness, before it clashed with the ground, shattering into a thousand pieces. Luckily enough there was nothing in the used glass, nothing but the last drops of the water Kaneki had drunk. Now at least all he had to clean up was the broken pieces of glass.

He got down on his knees, leaning down to pick up the largest shards. He took one in each hand, and put them next to each other, hopelessly trying to push them together, make them connect again. But it was impossible.

He thought of Hide, how he pretended that everything was okay, just like Kaneki himself had tried to do for so long. He didn't want to give up, but now that everything had changed, no matter how they tried it couldn't be restored, could it? He had become someone new, he was no longer the one Hide had cared about, he didn't want for Hide to realize this, but he also didn't want for him to be unhappy lying to himself. But Kaneki's selfish thoughts had brought them here, and for _months,_ they had kept up this _farce_. _Because that's what it was, right?_

How he had escaped every single obligation and responsibility, left the consequences for others to take care of, just because Hide had told him. _He had said they should just go home_. And just like that, Kaneki had given in. He felt the guilt tearing him apart from the insides. All the people he had known, maybe they were dead, maybe they had died clearing up _his_ mess. He didn't want to think about it. But there was another thing, and that he couldn't possible ignore. It was the fact that Hide had to suffer too.

The friendship they had before the change, it wasn't mendable. It was just like those two pieces in Kaneki's hands. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't possibly bring them back together, repair the broken glass. they couldn't return to how they were before everything went wrong. _Right? It was irrational to even hope anymore_.

Kaneki was staring blankly at the broken glass, thinking of metaphors. He was almost ready to cry already. But he was interrupted by the sound of quiet footsteps on the floor. He felt another presence in the room, and a hand landed on his back gently.

"Kaneki," a voice softly said. It sounded like Hide was speaking to a child. But Kaneki knew that wasn't the case.

He looked up at Hide's smilling, slightly worried face and said: "I'm sorry, I just dropped a glass..." He didn't want Hide to be worried for him, he didn't want to show Hide that this was a bad idea. Or maybe he did.

"Are you okay? You didn't cut yourself on..." the sentence trailed off as Hide probably remembered, that even if it had happened, on Kaneki there would be no trace left of it.

"Yeah, let me just-" He started getting up, he had to at least clean up _this_ mess, if no other. When he did this, Hide's gaze fixed on something. It was Kaneki's hands, or more specifically the pieces of glass in them. He looked as if some kind of realization dawned on him. He swiftly grabbed Kaneki's hands, holding them tightly, avoiding the shards though, staring into Kaneki's eyes intently. Like he was trying to find an answer to something in them.

After a while he relaxed, grinning. "Let me handle this!" He said, in such a happy but simultaneously demanding tone, that Kaneki couldn't refuse. He just quietly nodded and straightened his back, taking a few careful steps away. He avoided the glass well, and once back in safety he sat down, returning to watch Hide as he gathered the glass in a dustpan. After he was done he smiled at Kaneki and left the room with the broken pieces.

He was probably taking them to the bathroom trashcan, or even all the way outside so no one would hurt themselves on it. Hide was thoughtful like that.

"Thank you," Kaneki whispered, his voice not being enough for more. He now wished he hadn't compared the two things in his mind, the shattered glass, and their shattered friendship. Now it felt like Hide was thowing away the last hope, with those unfixable fragments. It felt like a final decision, _if those pieces were gone, then there was nothing left._

* * *

Kaneki had never expected it. He had never thought, that even when he decided to not verbalize his doubts, that two days later, Hide would come to him and say: "Maybe it just wasn't the right two pieces. It's never too late to try and fix something," hand him a bundle of glass, glued together in the most creative way, and then just stand there, wating for a reaction. He hadn't expected that Hide would have understood, he had thought that there was a limit to how well he got him.

_'But,' Kaneki thought, 'doesn't this just prove that it's impossible to restore what we had?'_

He was truly amazed by Hide's work though, the glass formed a sculpture, more beautiful than the glass had been before, but now without a practical use. He looked at it, and then he looked at Hide, silently uttering the question: _"Why?"_

Hide grinned. "Sometimes things don't have to stay the same. Things can change and develop into something even better than they used to be!" He took the glass sculpture from Kaneki's quivering fingers. Kaneki saw that his hands were cut, half of the fingers at least had band aids.

Kaneki just stared at Hide, not comprehending the words fully. Did Hide know what he had thought of earlier? But was it really...was it really okay? To live. To be happy? It couldn't possibly be okay. He didn't want Hide to get hurt anymore, not because of him, or anyone. And allowing himself to forget that it should be impossible, _should be impossible_ for them to stay, together, become like they were before.

Here Hide was saying that they didn't have to be the same, they could change and still stay together. _Just like Hide had put together the shards of glass and created something new._

Kaneki, he didn't know. He wasn't sure what he should do, so he didn't react, he just stared at Hide, who was still smiling like an idiot, holding the glass in his hands.

"And if that doesn't work," he said, suddenly bringing something out from behind his back, "Even then, it's possible to replace it." He was holding another, whole glass, similar to the one shattered, in his other hand.

  
Kaneki finally got it, he saw that Hide didn't care, he didn't care about the difference, he still cherished him as he was now. Kaneki felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt Hide's warm hand, wiping them off his face, and he felt Hide's lips when he softly kissed his eyelids, muttering reassuring words nearly non-stop. He understood. And now, Kaneki maybe did too, just a little bit. 

  
_"Things don't have to return to the way they used to be. As long as we're happy it'll be okay."_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading eh. I wanted to write yeah. I dont know this got very...cheesy pfft


End file.
